What Does My Spiritual Practice Actually Look Like?

It’s 2017. It’s been a while since my last post. While I can’t say I have been working tremendous hours in the hospital, I have certainly been spending time nourishing myself with genuine connection, reflection, writing of different sorts, and this “little” research project that has taken (rightly) much of my passionate heart.

During my “Rabbott Hole” searches of any and all blogs about health, nutrition, spirituality, kindness and love I have come across numerous authors/bloggers sharing their personal habits and day to day activities in posts commonly titled “What Do I Eat?” “What Do I Do?” or “A Day in the Life.” My initial reaction to most of these articles was one of awkward distancing as the concept of writing about yourself seemed too self-centered, and really who cares about what you eat or what you do at 11 AM every day?

Stepping back from this place of judgement, I realized that indeed, I did have a curiosity into the habits, thoughts and day to day actions of some of my respected colleagues (or at least individuals I hoped to meet in the future.) This is certainly not an excuse or reason to surround yourself in the distracting minutiae of social media, celebrity gossip and any other form of self promotion centered around materialistic gain and wealth, it is simply an acknowledgement that as humans we are often curious as to what our role models do and how we can possibly develop similar habits in order to flourish in the service of others. But rather than merely focus on what others DO, I encourage you to examine how your mentors ARE, what VALUES they hold, how your role models simply BE.

Abstract as this may seem, we must not be reduced to become habit copiers, DOING merely as others DO, as our life is not one of constantly DOING, but one of constantly BEING with intermittent periods of purposeful DOING. BEING scattered with DOING, not DOING scattered with BEING.

Lengthy introduction aside, I have approached this post with the joyful desire to share my personal spiritual practice, not as an act of self promotion or to convince you to adopt my ways of thinking and practicing, but to simply offer a glimpse into what has nourished my being and allowed me to grow, for no one has a monopoly on flourishing and if there was anyway I could spread a means to obtain and remain with one’s inner happiness, I most certainly would.

As a preface to the descriptions of my practice, it is important for you to know that I currently see my practice as one of dynamic fluidity. Currently I have no particular structure, ritual or pattern of practice, I simply approach the day and allow it to reveal a path of spiritual engagement and service to others. In approaching our days with this fluid vision, we must be reflective and truly engage the moment with an open heart. Dynamic fluidity can easily become an excuse to not practice, to say there is not enough time or to find other distracting tasks with “false” nourishment. Dynamic fluidity requires genuine openness and by cultivating genuine openness we can ultimately discover Freedom of Faith.

So you are telling us that you want to share what it is you actually do as part of your spiritual practice with the huge caveat/disclaimer that you DON’T actually routinely DO ANYTHING?

The simple answer:

Yes, this is precisely what I am hoping to do.

As many of you likely know, building habits and routines around structured time is nearly essential for nurturing success and minimizing distracting time away from the tasks you actually wish to complete. I will be the first to say that as I was beginning to explore the practices of mindfulness meditation and yoga in February 2013, I NEEDED this STRUCTURE. I NEEDED to know that as soon as I woke up I was going to do a 20-minute yoga practice. I NEEDED to know that I would take a 30-60 mindful walk at lunchtime and that I would end my evening before sleep with a restorative 15-minute yoga practice. I gained stability, “flexibility” and grew tremendously from this structured practice, but as we do not need training wheels on our bike forever, there comes a time when we can shed such structure and step into another level of growth that would have otherwise remained unattainable if we became strongly attached to the training wheels.

Important Reflection: Where are you on your path of spiritual growth, enlightenment, engagement? Are the training wheels on? Is one wheel teetering off and making it more difficult to ride? Are you actually now riding a unicycle? Reflect on your current practice, how satisfied and nourished are you by your current practices and more importantly how satisfied are you with your life “outside” of this dedicated practice? Are you happy with the way you carry your being, your interactions with peers, are you upholding your core values and serving your greater intention?

Some serious questions for reflection, but ones that will surely provide some food for continual nourishment as you revisit, refine and rediscover your practice.

For the patient among you, or perhaps the ones crazy enough to continue reading this post, I offer now, through the telling of a story, a reflection upon my most recent day of practice. A precise and comprehensive list it is not, a glimpse into what is possible when you live in gentle curiosity, it most certainly is.

Waking alongside my girlfriend, with a comforting darkness and warmth showering the room, I reflected on my dreams from the previous night: a curious visit to my high school, a “vision” of my parents as I was birthed into the world, playing soccer with former US goalkeeper Tim Howard. Possibly random, possibly symbolic, I rested, eyes closed, holding gratitude in my heart for my parents as they brought me into this world, for my teachers and their nurturing of my youthful passions, and for the US Men’s soccer team for the joys and heartbreak they have given me over the course of my life thus far. Opening my eyes once more I embraced my girlfriend and a few of her furry friends, smiling with the love that I now held in my heart, thankful for the opportunity to have met such a beautiful soul and for the capacity to spend our days growing, reflecting, and simply being together. Dressing quickly, I kissed her goodbye and moved to my car where I then started listening to a podcast from Krista Tippett and the amazing folks at On-Being. In this interview, Krista was sharing a space with Eugene Peterson, a fascinating clergyman, poet and author whose theological language and interpretation of the Bible is dare I say “Biblical?”

Continuing my journey into this auditory space, I began my walk to the family medicine clinic with much more on my mind than what was the best drug for strep pharyngitis. Reaching the hospital entrance, I was ready to enter our chapel and share the prayers now overflowing from my soul. Having recently started this “new practice” of prayer in the chapel 5 days earlier, I was eager once more to find the genuine sense of immersive warmth that had surrounded my being as I held the hurt of all those in the hospital, patients and healers alike. For in these short periods of prayer, I would take this hurt and extend back a renewed passion, light and love from our Divine Creator. Wishing for a relief of suffering for all patients, families, and clinicians, I would reach into the deep well of my nourished heart to bring peace to those overwhelmed in the storm. Yet, this practice as I have just described it, with all of its joyful warmth and potential to bring healing, was not what was calling me this particular morning. For out of the corner of my eye, as I directed my gaze to the chapel, came a gleeful grin from my second father, a brother, an unbelievable friend: George Thompson. Having met George in the beginning of my spiritual awakening, we have formed a bond unbreakable by even the most destructive of hurt. The gleeful grin I was now witnessing, however, was not directed at me, but at the glowing face of another: an elderly but youthful appearing woman who I immediately recognized as a previous acquaintance, but exactly where I was not entirely certain. What unfolded next is nearly indescribable or as I commonly say “wordless.” 

It did not take long into our conversation for me to discover that this woman, Louise Malloy, had been a standardized patient, a clinical actor of sorts in my medical school. Following this striking realization I was flooded with the immediate imagery of a woman struggling with depression, seeking an escape from her suffering, simply asking to be heard. Taken back to this interview some 2.5 years earlier, I was nearly moved to tears. Luckily, thanks to Louise’s curious sense of humor, what followed next was not a deluge of tears, but a joyful connection, a smile, and a hug. In 10 minutes, we had gone from stranger, to acquaintance, to mutual friend, to personal friend, to souls of the same heart. As we finally parted ways, I was left extending my appreciation for this shared space, for her youthful humor, for her gracious blessing, and in return she left me with these words, “Thank you, my friend, I cannot wait for your message.” Curious, perplexed and out of time, I could only smile, turn, and begin my walk to the family medicine clinic; for it was 7:55 AM and the next “practice” was calling, ready for an open soul to step inside.