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Saturday, November 5, 2016

Can We Truly Find an End to All Suffering?

For the past 3 years as I have expanded my understanding and practice of medicine, I have been guided by my “North Star” to create and nourish a space where all can heal and be healed. As part of this exploration, I have been witness to pain and suffering I would not wish on my worst enemy- (although at this point of my spiritual journey I am not sure I could have or completely agree with the concept of a “worst enemy”).  In wishing to bring relief to such profound suffering and incorporate this intention into the essence of my being, I have been reciting, as part of a daily reflective practice, a set of mantras focused on these precise wishes.

The three mantras go as follows:

1. May there be an end to all suffering on Earth
2. May there be peace for those who seek it
3. Be your own strength

Over the past few months, however, following a deeper study into the Five Mindfulness Trainings of the Vietnamese thinker and poet Thich Nhat Hanh, I have started to examine my first mantra a little more closely, questioning whether “an end to all suffering on Earth” would actually be as joyful as I initially imagined?  After reading this last sentence you may be saying to yourself, “What in the world is he talking about? Of, course we would want to live in a world where pain and suffering have no place in our common language and understanding.” If we collectively approach the concept of suffering from this perspective, I would certainly agree, admitting that in reciting and sharing this thought for close to three years, it would be close to hypocritical not to agree. As with all things in this world, however, we live with dynamic understanding and are blessed with the capacity to evolve our present beliefs (never being defined by their content), and to engage in purposeful reflection, entertaining alternative perspectives that may at first seem completely contradictory to our present vision.

In pursuing such practice, I now believe that what I truly desire is not for THE END of SUFFERING, but actually for THE RELIEF of an INDIVIDUAL’s SUFFERING. Digging a little deeper, one can start to contrast the concepts of Relief vs. Eradication, Cessation vs. Destruction, Impermanence vs. (Non) Existence. For without my own experience of debilitating anxiety and depression, being devoured within the disturbing black hole that is our deeply flawed medical education system, I would certainly not be here breathing today, writing and urging for all humanity to bear witness to our world of suffering all the while striving to create a more joyful and loving place to live. Despite waking each morning with a hopeful smile wishing at my core to remain free from the torment of wrongful desire and selfish gain, I indeed long to have eyes that will forever see such acts of selfishness, of jealousy, of hatred, for it is with these eyes that the seeds of my compassionate spirit are watered and given life. If not for the tears of a grieving son following the unexpected passing of his father, would I find the strength to go forth opening and extending my compassionate heart?   

Having grown in my faith, accepting much of the immeasurable uncertainty in this unexplainable world, I realize there is no good answer to the questions I have posed, and perhaps the best I can do to reach a state of reasonable understanding is to suspend my disbelief and hold two supposedly contradictory wishes in a state of paradoxical acceptance.

The first wish being: To aid in the relief of an individual’s suffering

The second being: To bear witness to the suffering in this world so that I can generate a compassionate heart willing to aid all those in need on their own journeys towards healing and wholeness.

Revisiting my initial mantra from this new place of understanding, perhaps the succinct statement below would be the most precise revision.

 May I bear witness to the hurt, so I can live wholly for its relief.

Once again, I have no profound answers or reasonable explanations for the purpose of such disturbing suffering in this world.  What I CAN offer, however, is a truth that we CAN control how we PERCEIVE and RECIEVE this pain, and most importantly, we CAN control our RESPONSE to the EXISTENCE of such hurt.

So are you willing and able to help relieve the suffering of just one other person today? For maybe, just maybe, through the collection of such seemingly minute and “inconsequential” acts of compassion we can approach the asymptote that is a world without suffering.